Being Present: Shift from "What If" to "What Now"
Being Present: Shift from “What If?” to “What Now?”
By Emily Cohn
It is completely natural to look toward the future, and in many cases totally necessary in terms of setting goals and staying motivated to making that future a reality. However, lately it seems that there are many times we could all benefit from staying a little more in the present, even though the present may not be ideal. In times of uncertainty, it may actually cause significantly more frustration trying to plan for a future that may not be possible due to factors wildly out of our own control. Therefore, for the next couple of months let’s try to make a conscious effort to switch our thought process from “what if” to “what now”.
In theory, there are plenty of scenarios when asking yourself “what if” is completely justifiable. In situations where you are playing an opponent you have played before you can determine ways in which you are going to react depending on different situations you have seen in previous competitions. Asking yourself “what if” is a great way to mentally prepare for the upcoming competition by anticipating your reactions and determining if that is a helpful course to take.
Unfortunately, today, many athletes are facing much larger “what ifs” than just facing someone you have seen before in a competition. “What if school doesn’t start in the fall?” “What if school does start in the fall and sports don’t start?” “What if school starts and sports start but I’m just not comfortable playing sports yet?” These are all extremely reasonable questions for athletes, coaches, and parents to be asking. Even as I am writing them, I can feel my heart rate start to increase. The reason for this immediate stress response to these questions is that our brains like having answers. When we don’t have solutions, we run through thousands of scenarios to make an answer happen. Unfortunately, a lot of us do not and will not have the answers to these questions for some time. How can we help our brain come to terms with what is going on? Switch the line of questioning from “what if…” to “what now?”
When asking yourself “what now?” I literally mean what should you be doing in this moment that will make you feel better and more on track toward reaching your future goals. “What now” can be a good thought stopping technique to use when you find yourself asking all of the what if questions. If you are thinking about all of those “what ifs” about school in the fall, take a breath, and ask yourself what you could be doing right now to feel more secure and less frustrated. Could you be journaling, meditating, calling a teammate or coach, hanging out with friends (at a safe distance), taking a walk, working out, reading, or even doing nothing?
There are endless possibilities depending on your current lockdown situation and your future goals to determine what you could be doing in the present that will help you in the future. It is also extremely important to note that nothing is a viable answer to the question “what now?” Make sure to give yourself a break. If you are reading this, you are more than likely doing your absolute best with the current state of the world. A recognition that there is nothing you can do right now, other than watch Netflix and relax, is part of the process and necessary recovery for your body and your brain. Make sure you continue to check in if the “are you still watching?” pops up on Netflix, and re-evaluate if there is something else you could be doing.
For right now all I’m asking is you take a deep breath (really, right now), think of three things you are grateful for and approach your day with the thought that you are in control of what you do today, with no constraints about what may happen tomorrow.